Our retreat director has said over and over "notice what you are feeling as you read or reflect on the words of sacred scripture because they are God's words and how you react to them can be significant for yourself." Nicodemus meets Jesus and asks a few questions. Imagine that you are standing there, listening to the conversation. www.usccb.org/nab will link you to John's gospel, chapter 3, verses 1-8 if you wish to read the entire text. Nicodemus responds to Jesus' words "Unless a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God": "How am I born again?" How do you react to what Jesus said to the man? Does it seem impossible to you? We men do not know how painful delivering a newborn is but all of us have heard either a wife, a sister, a mother or a friend speak of the sometimes too lengthy time the newest family member takes to come into the world ... at Mom's expense.
So often we find ourselves at a point where we have been several times before. Why is it that other realities and emotions so easily take over our lives. Why is it the rebirth is so hard for us? What is it that frightens a person who is afraid to allow Jesus to take over his/her life? There is usually a struggle to avoid what would damage our relationship with God but at other times there is no desire to change. "God just leave me be." Living our Christian vocation to the fullest is fearful if we are honest with ourselves. Being born again can be psychologically just as painful as Mom's hours of prenatal delivery.
What is lacking in moments such as these is conviction ... I am convinced that I want to live my life as God calls me to it. In the spiritual life it is reading scripture, prayer and devotional practices that will constitute a successful spirituality.
There are times when penitents will say to me and every other priest "I just feel so perturbed within. I am just at an uneasy place." When that happens, it is almost 100% for sure that the person has let his/her life be taken over by the evil spirits in the world. There is a genuine need for being born again. What we have to remember is that we might sin over and over despite efforts on our part not to do so. Yet we are reminded that there was a one-time-for-all healing offered to each of us. We just celebrated that reality during Holy Week which was validated on Easter Sunday morning by the Resurrection.
Live life to its fullest in and through Jesus Christ. As Blessed John Paul II often said, "Do not be afraid. Open the doors to Jesus Christ." It is the call to open our hearts to our Savior.
