Today we honor a man who struggled with the unknown. Today's gospel puts the unknown before us. It is the same struggle in the life of St. Augustine.
St. Augustine gave years of his life contending with an inner struggle, seeking to know the truth as he wanted it defined. He was searching for order in his life, for peace in his heart and soul. Finally he found the pathway to order and structure which gave him confidence and assurance.
Augustine came to see the "inmost depth" of his soul because he eventually arrived at the moment of truth. He changed his life by trusting the guidance of Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. In our modern society people struggle to put order into their lives, using day planners, charts, calendars and seminars. Organizational gurus even for us "Dummies" can be found on many bookshelves in stores, libraries and homes. We have become a society where people who do have their lives in order more frequently than not are given the accolade "control freeks."
The son of a loving and caring mother, Monica, Augustine made it clear that he "sought a way to gain the strength" he needed to "enjoy" God's presence in his life. Only when he "embraced the mediator between God and Human kind, the man Christ Jesus, did he find the peace his unrest had sought. "He was calling me and saying: I am the way of truth, I am the life."
Augustine described in more than a few places in his writings this struggle for order, for truth. Once he allowed himself to turn his life over to Jesus Christ, he found what he called "immutable life." For him, as he wrote, it was no "ordinary light. His words: "he who has come to know the truth knows this light.
Enjoy these words of his: "Late have I loved you, O Beauty ever ancient, ever new, late have I loved you. You were within me, but I was outside, and it was there that I searched for you. In my unloveliness I plunged into the lovely things which you created. You were with me, but I was not with you. Created things kept me from you; yet if they had not been in you, they would not have been at all. You called, you shouted, and you broke through my deafness. You flashed, you shone, and you dispelled my blindness.... You touched me, and I burned for your peace. (from the Confessions)
You inspire us, O Lord, to delight in praising you,
because you made us for yourself;
our hearts are restless
until they rest in you.
