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Recently I was reminded about a book I had read some ten years ago. Kathleen Norris brought me to her captivating journey of personal conversion to the Catholic Church in Dakota: A Spiritual Journey. On her discovery route, occasioned by her return to Lemmon, South Dakota, to the family homestead, she came, in the Great Plains, to a deeper awareness of herself and where her God was leading her. Her journey calls to mind the story of Jesus in today's Gospel reading (Luke 4:1-13). In short, she discovered who she was in the desert area of the Great Plains. The desert is much more than a place of dryness and heat. Where she lived with her family, she came upon a monastery. At first it seemed strange, or as she wrote, "ironic." Who would seek a desert within a desert? This is what Jesus' 40 day journey into the desert was. He withdrew from the distractions of his preaching and teaching ministry, walking into forty days of a Holy Spirit guided retreat. Jesus on retreat? Yes, even Jesus, the man, needed to take time with God for discernment, in seeking to understand what it would mean to be the Christ and at the same time, prayerfully learning what God expected of him. What was the Messiah role that would lie ahead for him? It was during these forty days of solitude and prayer that he was seeking to see clearly the will of God.
Soren Kierkegaard (SK), mentioned in recent postings on this blog, refers to the days and years when Jesus lived among us as his living "in the state of humiliation." But after his death he returned to his glory. We, as followers of Jesus, believe this. While on earth with us, however, he as a man like us, except for sin. What he said, SK writes, the words he spoke, if we ascribe the divinity of Christ to them are untrue in themselves as God speaking to us. What? This was Jesus, the son of a maiden girl named Mary. Again, he was, during these days in the desert and other times as well, seeking to know the Father's will. We might describe the journey and forty days in the desert as Jesus trying to discover his identity.
Lent is our annual journey into our own plains, our own desert. Each time we use these days as moments of personal retreat, we are seeking a better awareness of ourselves. Who am I as a baptized follower of Jesus? Who am I, as a believer, seeking to strengthen my faith?
Each time I recite the words of Creed in a liturgy or privately, I profess my faith. As Paul writes in Romans (10:8), quoting Deuteronomy 30:14, "... the word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart." It is our faith we speak from our mouths when we profess our faith. These forty days of Lent are your retreat moments when we examine the belief in our hearts. There is no difficulty in our speaking "I believe in God ...." The challenge to you and me is this: "Do I truly believe what I am saying or is it simply just repeating something we learned years ago, words without serious impact on our lives? What we should discover on our journey through Lent is whether I am strong enough to surrender my will to believe in my heart what I am saying? There are, as we know, serious consequences in genuine commitment which the Creed calls us to believe.
You are in the Lenten desert now. Recall the words of Jesus to the challenges of Satan in today's gospel. They are a challenge to recall what your vocation is and how you live it: "You shall worship the Lord, your God, and him alone shall you serve."
