Saturday, May 7, 2011

Jesus comes to the disciples ... "walking on the water."  You might ask  the writer of the account, John the Evangelist:  "What are your feelings as this happens?"  Were I John, I know my heart and my mind would be reeling.  "What can I do?  Where is our friend when you need him?  Will this storm do us in?"  Then, suddenly it seems, they hear "It is I.  Do not be afraid."  Because of Blessed John Paul II, we have become attuned to that second sentence:  Do not be afraid.  It was one of his frequent reminders to us about our safety in Jesus the Christ.

No doubt, someone or two of the disciples must have invited, called to or pleaded with Jesus:  "Come on, get in our boat."  Why not?  They had witnessed Jesus miracles before this.  We do not know  that Jesus came aboard.  But John gives us words of assurance that Jesus did something miraculous:  "... but the boat immediately arrived at the shore where they were heading."  How did this happen?  Lots of questions.  Maybe in your prayer or reflection you might ask Jesus something like "What was it you did?  Was it really 'immediately'?  What is it that you are teaching us?"

"Jesus, when I feel inundated, overwhelmed and asea, do I turn to you in honesty and simplicity?  Do I put out before you what is happening in my life?"   Aren't there the moments when I wonder if "I am always with you" is just another biblical saying?  Oh, perhaps I have forgotten:  did I ask you to come into my 'tossed about boat'? Do a talk and then LISTEN to you about my unsettledness? "

Are not moments like these true tests of my faith, my belief in what we have learned Jesus taught his disciples?  Am I asking simply to feel better?  Do I think to enter the conversation with Jesus, the Father or the Holy Spirit or a favorite Saint or Blessed with an openness of heart?  Does a quick "I believe you know" keep me from opening up what is in my heart and talking with him about it and THEN do I STOP to LISTEN ... just let my mind enjoy a relaxing freedom, enjoying a few moments with your guest in your "tossed about boat"?  Oops!  Sometimes I forget that part of the conversation:  I need to LISTEN, to hear what ideas come into my mind and heart.  Do I believe he will calm the waters ... perhaps not in the instantaneous manner as described in the gospel of John?  Do I trust him and realize he will ride out any storm with me?  Finally, do I realize I have to row my little boat, to work at understanding what it is I really need?  He will tell you.